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Merely a student; unofficially everything else.

Travel 2012

I actually just realized I never documented here where I went last year. So here’s this list of my 2012 destinations:

Greenville, SC
Philadelphia, PA
Pittsburgh, PA
Boston, MA + a bit of Ohio
NYC
Florida
Nashville, TN
Chattanooga, TN
Washington, DC / VA
Savannah, Ga
CocoCay & Nassau, Bahamas

I began these adventures in the month of May. I never took a roundtrip on an airplane… I flew to Boston (by way of Ohio), to DC, & Philly… and only flew back from Pittsburgh. The rest of everything was reached via car, bus, train, or boat. I stayed in hostels, bed n breakfasts, mansions, hotels, tiny cruise cabins, and gang suites. I explored over 10 museums. I met incredible people in every single city. I broke bread with people from over 65 different nationalities. I marched to the capital and held lobby meetings. I experienced a dance party with over 1000 people who I love. I gambled in a horse race. I ate duck for the first time. I found out I was allergic to shellfish. I accidentally initiated a sauce cook-off in the same night I was adjustment bureau’d. I kept running into amazing beards in the most unexpected places. I saw great music and movies in various cities. I had the time of my life. 

I’m an East Coast junkie. 

Fourth Estate /Career Motivation

I’m currently stressing about job interviews, applications, opportunities, and the potential of moving hours away from the one region I’ve ever known. So for inspiration, I’ve been digging through my Fourth Estate journal and I’ve re-discovered the most empowering quotes and stories. ( // denotes that I’m unsure of who said it.) Below are some of my favorites.

(From JR): You are more powerful than you think you are. Wake up to your fullest potential. Find what makes you most alive, and do that. Every moment of your life is preparing you for the opportunities to come.

// Never do something that is not directly parallel to your identity.

(From JO): You have a story to write and to share - don’t stop. Don’t underestimate your strength.

// If you do nothing with your potential, it’s as though it’s not even there. 

(From JJ): When you doubt yourself, you set yourself up for failure.

(From SS): Set a clear life vision - the people with the vision are the ones that get there. You are valuable and powerful… there’s no time for you to be insecure.

(From BK): Set the big goal, and pursue it.

(From GH): Have sacrificial courage; tenacious hope; refreshing joy, in everything you do.

(From BK - advice to recent grads.)
1. Learn who you are.
2. Pursue something in your area of strength.
3. Don’t give up or settle.
4. Be patient, but not apathetic.
5. Structure and motivation come from yourself. 

(From TK - for interviews):
1. Know/Be Yourself: If you’re passionate, show it through action. Take strength finder tests.
2. Do your research on the company, the position, the salary/benefits, etc.
3. Think like an interviewer and be a good team-member. Stand out. Have the skills set, the cultural fit (values, team player, fun attitude), hit the ground running (focus during job training), connect with your co-workers and bosses.
4. Practical leadership = experience. Explain yours.
5. Put yourself out there: travel, intern, volunteer.
6. Go above and beyond — volunteer where you want to work.

(via Oprah): Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion: the more you put into something, the more you get out —— energy, time, creativity, thought, etc.

(From SS): Have direction and momentum, and you can achieve your goals.

//Go pursue your dreams, or live with regrets due to fears that are invalid.

Possibilities come from determination and motivation. 

JUMP FIRST; FEAR LATER.

Warrants friendship.

I define myself by the people around me. I know that may or may not be the best way to live, but it’s how I am. I derive my confidence by the amount of love that I’m sharing with people. I need to feel needed and I need to feel appreciated, to be happy. Sometimes that sucks and sometimes I don’t know how to deal with it. Often, it makes me feel lonely or unwanted, even though that may not be the case.

When my old friends don’t actively seek to hang out with me, it hurts my feelings. That’s especially true when they’re not reciprocating my intentions. But I need to realize that our friendship still probably means as much to them as it does to me. It’s just that people are in different places at different times. Those people could still be working through their own things, which they don’t need me around for. I’ve been through that, too.

In 2011 I was just constantly busy… it was the busiest year of my life - I was in constant movement. Luckily, through my work, I was able to meet an incredible support group in the Fourth Estate, and make many new friends. I was surrounded by love even though I didn’t have time to just hang out. My network was made up of people who knew that at that moment, I had to be active while being together. They understood my responsibilities and allowed me to feel loved and appreciated even though I wasn’t necessarily doing things for them.

Back in the day, however, there were times when I was going through things so deep and emotional, I did not want to - nor was I able to - hang out with people who knew me in a separate time. (This was at numerous times between 2004-2010.) Looking back, I said “no” to hanging out and I blocked people out because I knew that I needed to get through my own things on my own. Or I was scared that if I hung out with people when I wasn’t at my best, they would see my vulnerability, and perhaps take advantage of it. So I went under a rock at times.

I get that certain persons are still able to hang out at those times just based on chemistry, alone. Maybe they’re less threatening because they know more or less about you. Or you just feel better around them. Or you can relate on a physical level rather than just an emotional one. In the case of having a best friend and then going through a fall out, it makes sense to either not want to be around them after troubled times, OR to need to be around them. 

I just need to understand that every person deals with aspects of life in a different ways. The least I can do is intend AND ask to hang out and revive friendships. It’s up to them and their courage and their ability and their willingness and their intention, to accept or to stall.cannot continue to take their decisions personally. It’s not about me.

This is true, even if I feel like I could be an incredible resource. As a deep thinker, I have an emotional intelligence score that is through the charts. My ability to empathize is unmatched by the masses. I’m able to give practical and meaningful advice, and be a constant friend. I don’t mean that I’m always around - I just mean that I’m always here if anyone ever needs me. I am able to remember the meaning of past friendships and why I love these people. But that’s me. It doesn’t matter that I have a lot to offer as a friend - that’s a really good thing, but it doesn’t matter in the full scheme of things. What matters is peoples’ willingness and ability to accept my friendship and put themselves into it, as well. 

Bottom line: I get it because I’ve been there. I need to accept other peoples’ decisions and not take it personally. If people can’t hang out with me right now, that’s okay. It gives me more time to work on myself and make myself a better person - make myself more willing to open up to others and to accept my own flaws. 

This is to say, I have friends. I have a couple of best friends who frequently see me. There are people in my past who I loved so deeply, who were my best friends, who are going through their own things. As much as I miss them and need them, I have to respect their need for other types of friends. And there are people I met who I want to be greater friends with, and I need to understand that they also have their own things going on.

I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. I have too much love in me not to see people. Hang out with me sometime. It means a lot to me.

<3@

atlantahistorycenter:

Scarlett O’Hara, original gold digger.

hahaha okay for real, GWTW is my favorite movie of all time but seeing it purported as facebook made me realize how similar we all still are here in ATL&#8230; and how often I see this same setup on the facebook feed. Golddiggers and guys weaving their way into vulnerable women.

atlantahistorycenter:

Scarlett O’Hara, original gold digger.

hahaha okay for real, GWTW is my favorite movie of all time but seeing it purported as facebook made me realize how similar we all still are here in ATL… and how often I see this same setup on the facebook feed. Golddiggers and guys weaving their way into vulnerable women.

yeezytaughtusall:


Some of Ye greatest tweets:
On responsibility:

“I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle”
On the value of privacy:
“Sometimes I push the elevator close button on people running towards the elevator. I just need my own elevator sometimes, my 7 floor sanctuary”
On diversity:
“Man… ninjas are kind of cool… I just don’t know any personally.”
On giving credit where credit is due:
“I would like to thank Julius Caesar for originating my hairstyle”
On hardship:
“Fur pillows are actually hard to sleep on”
On fielding tough questions:
“I know everybody at Rolling Stone had one question on there mind… and the answer is… yes, the shoes are Dreis”
On disappointment:
“I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuugh”
On aesthetics:
“Sometimes I get emotional over fonts”
On knowing your strengths:
“I make awesome decisions in bike stores!!!”
On professionalism:
“Never do coke with an intern … they may not be 21”
On looking good:
“She asked when is fashion week…. uuuum… I thought it was every week??!!”
On mathematics:
“My favorite unit of measurement is ‘a shit load.’”
On productive use of all 140 characters in a tweet:
“hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah aaand 140”
On making small talk:

“No seriously … I said my teeth are real diamonds… these are not fronts… I replaced my bottom row of teeth with diamonds”

On how to ring in the New Year (tweeted on Jan 1, 2011):
“ASS ON THE FLOOR”
On online etiquette:
“You can basically say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end”
On humility:
“I have started a new company and I’m so excited about the name…. it’s got the best name ever of all companies of all time!!!….”
On… we’re still figuring this one out:
“I just threw some kazoo on this bitch”

yeezytaughtusall:

Some of Ye greatest tweets:

On responsibility:

“I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle”

On the value of privacy:

“Sometimes I push the elevator close button on people running towards the elevator. I just need my own elevator sometimes, my 7 floor sanctuary”

On diversity:

“Man… ninjas are kind of cool… I just don’t know any personally.”

On giving credit where credit is due:

“I would like to thank Julius Caesar for originating my hairstyle”

On hardship:

“Fur pillows are actually hard to sleep on”

On fielding tough questions:

“I know everybody at Rolling Stone had one question on there mind… and the answer is… yes, the shoes are Dreis”

On disappointment:

“I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuugh”

On aesthetics:

“Sometimes I get emotional over fonts”

On knowing your strengths:

“I make awesome decisions in bike stores!!!”

On professionalism:

“Never do coke with an intern … they may not be 21”

On looking good:

“She asked when is fashion week…. uuuum… I thought it was every week??!!”

On mathematics:

“My favorite unit of measurement is ‘a shit load.’”

On productive use of all 140 characters in a tweet:

“hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah aaand 140”

On making small talk:

“No seriously … I said my teeth are real diamonds… these are not fronts… I replaced my bottom row of teeth with diamonds”

On how to ring in the New Year (tweeted on Jan 1, 2011):

“ASS ON THE FLOOR”

On online etiquette:

“You can basically say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end”

On humility:

“I have started a new company and I’m so excited about the name…. it’s got the best name ever of all companies of all time!!!….”

On… we’re still figuring this one out:

“I just threw some kazoo on this bitch”

(via writteninthecosmos)

Nicki Minaj

—HOV Lane

It’s been months and I still can’t get enough of this song.

Nicki Minaj - HOV Lane

"I’m in the HOV lane, I’m in the HOV lane, and you-yuyuyu-yuyuyu: SOUL TRAIN"

wheninatl:

When someone suggests Fellini’s for dinner

wheninatl:

When someone suggests Fellini’s for dinner

Dream, 5/17/12

1) The dream started in high school, where I was taking an Econ class. I was with my friend Andrew from college, who I wish I knew better. I literally only went to class like five times (accurate) and zero times towards the end of the course. Someone told me that the final was actually just participation in a colonial times plantation. So I went to the place, which was similar to my aunt’s farm, and I began working. Of course, I was in my pajamas rather than the actual clothes, and I thought I’d get counted off for that. So after working a bit in the field, I went to the cottage house. This little house looked like something you would not be allowed to go into — like they’d only allow you to see through the windows or whatever. But no, this house actually let you come in and live inside the house. So I go in and look in the closet for clothes, but all that was left was men’s clothing. So I put on the shoes at first, and that’s all. (Still had pajamas on.) Then later, after doing more work, I put a bit more of them colonial era clothing on and decided just to take on the role of a ladylike man on the plantation? So whenever I’m doing a project in real life and I feel like I’m not doing my part right, I get super creative and blow it out of the water. So that’s what I did. Someone came to the land with shotguns and since I was the only “man” woman in the house with all the other people who were portraying women, I yelled at the intruder and said something in a deep voice like “Don’t you ever come back here now, ya hear?!” …. It was hilarious, even in the dream.

When the project was over, I got a B for a grade. Then I went to sit on the school’s/plantation’s back porch (which was suddenly much larger and at the middle school.) I was sitting with Andrew, and my friends Lizzie Kilgore and Michael Brown (both who frequent my dreams because I haven’t seen them in too long.) I told them both I’d take them home: Michael lived (in his real house) two minutes down the road; Lizzie lived in Cartersville? Andrew was just chillin with us for awhile. There may have been someone else there. I don’t remember why we were sitting on the porch but I feel like we were just watching the sun go down or something. Finally it was time we head home, so I went into the plantation house to get my keys. I had put them in a lamp “pocket” (a little drawer under a kerosene lamp) near the sinks. [Don’t ask me what kind of colonial houses have sinks.] Everything made sense at the time - nothing was changing like it might in a dream… the rooms were all very solidified and unmoving. So when I couldn’t find my house keys, I became kind of concerned. I got the “house lady”, the caretaker, to help me look for them. She tried for about five minutes and then said “Well, you’re welcome to stay here for the night!” I slapped her theoretically and said “These are my house keys! That is my way of life! What do you want me to do without them forever!?” The two janitors began “helping” us look… but then after about eight minutes, I overheard one of them joke to the house lady that he had the keys and was going to sell them later. I actually slapped him in the face and said, “Excuse me?! As if I don’t already have enough problems living as a woman in these times. It is finals week, man!! Don’t give me this extra stress.” So finally, I got the keys from him. I went back out on the porch, and my friends were all totally restless and had started walking home already. So I gathered them up and took them the rest of the way.

2) Next, I was in a small room, similar to the colonial house but it was like a hotel room. The backstory is that, in dreamland, we (my family) had gone on vacation with this girl Kayla before - and she had tried to kill us. We were never quite sure why, but it had something to do with her being paid off. Anyway, a few years later, we had for some reason forgiven her, and went on vacation again. We weren’t actually on vacation - this time we were at/near college. So when Kayla began trying to attack us again, I tried pulling out all the stops. I was with my family and one of my brother’s friends. So I held the door closed by my hands AND put my foot on it - I don’t know why my feet had extra strength in the dream for holding doors shut. So Kayla came up and was trying to get into our hotel room, and I was holding that particular door shut. She had a gun and super strength. She was winning. She kept getting the door open about an inch or two then I’d shut it. At one point, I saw that she had someone there with her - explains the extra strength. My bro and his friend were manning the windows and other exits. At one moment she got the gun in, and shot my brother in the eye. 

Now this was a very weird moment in the dream. His eye came out, and suddenly there were about 20 eyeballs around him. Some were glassy, they were different eye colors, etc. It was very dream-like, whereas the rest of the dream aesthetically made sense in the moment. My brother just scooped one up and popped it right back in, and we decided he would just have some brain issues for the next couple days.

So I went outside, grabbed Kayla, and began yelling at her - “Why the heck would you shoot my brother in the face?! Why are you trying to kill us? I thought we could trust you and now I’ve learned my lesson.” She said that she really wanted us to be able to trust her, because she liked us all. BUT she also really needed the money for her kids, so our friend Amanda had put her up to it while they were visiting Vegas earlier. Amanda came out as the other friend at that point. I don’t really remember what happened here because I was just yelling at her like “how dare you.”

3) Then, we all suddenly were shaken to the ground. It was like an earthquake was hitting Kennesaw… but it was more like a blast? Something told us to get out and move, since we were at the west end of campus - the side closest to the road (in the dream.) So my brother, dad, sister, my brother’s friend, and I all packed into a van and drove off onto Chastain Road. For some reason, my brother’s injury had transferred to my dad, who was driving. I was in the back seat like “switch places! Blake needs to drive!” (Blake is my brother.) So they stopped the car in the middle of the road and tried to get out to move around. My dad, who had the two-day brain damage, was supposed to move from the driver’s seat to the passanger seat. My brother tried to get from the passenger seat to the back seat and then climb into the drivers seat (because on the left side of the car, there were too many people… if someone got out on that side, they’d be crushed.) But on the right side, Kayla was trying to get into our car… we were like “…no. You’re not welcome with us anymore.” I told my dad to put the E-break on so our car wouldn’t go crazy. When he went to put it up, it was already up - he had never put the emergency break down in the first place, which is why we were going so slowly. Finally, we decided that we didn’t have time to switch places before traffic got worse so I said to my dad “Turn down the E-break and hit the floor!!!”

So we drove fast into the already-forming traffic jam. We had close calls with forks in the road and unexpected medians. After making our way quickly through traffic, we stopped at a Big Lots, which was actually a very large warehouse at this point. We decided it would be our refuge - because several people were already arriving there. We got in a line? Still not even sure why we were in a line. While we were there, I saw my high school friend Eve Beck and her husband, as well as some people from college. Eve told us that they heard that this was indeed the place to go in the chance of emergency. Then people started rumoring that something had landed — not out of the ordinary, since the university is by an airport. However, one guy showed me a text that read,

"It’s the star Nebula. OMFG it landed on our school. It’s like Star Wars but it’s actually happening. That’s what the NASA people are saying. OMG I’m stuck here!”

So I said… Isn’t that the black hole star? Does that mean we’re going to be sucked up forever?!

And that was the end of the dream.

Dry the River - Weights and Measures

Sucks this video is so degrading to women, because I was really digging the song…

Nicki Minaj - Beez in the Trap